About Me

My photo
I'm a Great Northwesterner that is now loving life in the Midwest. I am a world class napper. I'm very bossy. I clearly love a good glass of Scotch. I wear aprons every chance I get.

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Just in case you missed it...

Below is the text from the Woot.com description for the Leakfrog 2 pack. You could print it off and and take the parts (1 male, 1 female) and then read it as part of your family's Thanksgiving program.

Frog Beside A Leaky Tin Roof

Dramatis Personae

“Rock, don’t ya find me pretty no more? Don’t I make you happy?”

“Happy? Only thing makes a man happy in this place is a Leakfrog 2 Pack.”

“Oh, Rock, come to bed. Look, I bought this pretty thing just for you. Don’t you wanna see me in it?”

“All I wanna see is a new bottle on this heah table. Them Leakfrogs is scratch resistant. You scratch resistant, Margie? You got a plastic housing?”

“Lord knows I tried, Rock. I tried so many times for you.”

“But you didn’t, did ya? You ain’t a success. Not like the Leakfrog 2 Pack. You know how many units we sell in a year? And each one runs on three AAA batteries. Sets off an alarm, too. Any water comes up, any water from any source at all, even just 1/32 of an inch, and it lets a man know. You can trust a Leakfrog 2 Pack, Margie. It keeps promises.”

“1/32 of an inch is pretty shallow, Rock. Almost as shallow as those ragamuffins you used to play football with. You know, I bet half of them didn’t do nothin’ with their lives.”

“You shut yuh mouth, Margie! You don’t know a blessed thing about football! We were gladiators, Margie! You could trust a man like you can trust an activated Leakfrog to emit an alarm for up to 48 hours or until turned off by the user!”

“Rock… I didn’t mean no harm, I was just…”

“You was just runninyuh mouth, Margie! You want some statistics? How about this, how about 40% of all property damage is done by water!”

“No, Rock!”

“How about… how about 70% of toxic mold is caused by leaks or plumbing failures?”

“No, Rock! I’ll scream, I swear it, I’ll scream!”

“How about this, Margie, how about this one? One in every three insurance claims are for water damage, something the Leakfrog 2 Pack can warn a homeowner about!”

“Rock, oh Rock, Rock, Rock, Rock, Rock. What’s become of us, Rock?”

“What’s become of you, Margie? I’m the same person I always was. Maybe I just figured out what’s important.”

“What’s that, Rock? Just a bottle? I’m second best to a bottle? Rock… can’t you love me like you used to love me?”

“Just get out, Margie. Just get out and leave the Leakfrog 2 Pack. That’s all that matters now.”

No comments: