Sass mouth

Growing up with a sass mouth was very hard. Like any disability or super power, it's very hard to control when you're young. As a child the sass just comes out whenever you open your mouth. You don't yet understand how to save the sass for the perfect moment, to maximize the comedic timing. Or do you?

When I was three years old, I was still an only child. This meant, among other things, that I had minimal concept of sharing or of someone else's needs taking priority over my own. At this time we lived in Chehalis, Washington and our local grocer was Fuller's Market Basket. One day my mother and headed to Fuller's. Now, I'm not going to say that I was an "obedient" child and I'm not going to say that I liked being told "what to do," so taking me to the market was it's own special kind of hell.

Getting out of the car, my mother began her pre-shopping instructions, including "stick to me like glue" and that she wanted me to maintain the holding of her hand which was already (3 seconds in) cramping my style. I let her finish the instructions and then said, "every time we come here you make me so damned mad." WOW. Whatever we needed at the store was not important enough for her to put up with that kind of sass. Shopping has been cancelled.

I'm sure my mother remembers shopping with me as a painful experience. I on the other hand remember having lots of fun and being out "running errands" with my mom...very important. Some of my favorite stops have to have been The Smoke Shop, where I had a running tab; Brunswick's shoes, where I started my love affair with MaryJane style shoes; YardBirds, which is so hard to explain so if you're ever in Chehalis...stop by and see for yourself.

As I got older and wiser with the sass, school shopping was the most fun shopping experience all year. We would drive up to Olympia or Tacoma to shop at a big mall and buy a whole new wardrobe, practically. My favorite items have to have been the fashion sweatsuits that were part of very season of shopping. There was only one each year, but they were great! School supply shopping was much more stressful because everything HAD to be just right. The right pencil box, PeeChee's, Crayolas ONLY...everything had to be the perfect thing or the whole thing was ruined. My educational career depended on the pencils with good erasers and Mr. Sketch markers. Through the miracle of my parents, I do not remember any time where my supplies were substandard. And now I'm starting Grad School....so you see?! YOU SEE!??!!

The sass has been tamed or at least now I'm in a place where I don't care much about when and where I'm sassy. I guess that came with graduating from high school. The public education system has no room for sass...but in college, you're paying them to take your sass and take it they will!